


Or This Man

by TextualDeviance



Category: Alice (2009)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-01
Updated: 2012-12-01
Packaged: 2017-11-20 01:05:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/579608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TextualDeviance/pseuds/TextualDeviance
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hatter and Jack have a history--a painful one--that goes back way before Alice came to Wonderland.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Or This Man

Alice searched his face curiously, noting the tears welling up in his eyes. She seemed surprised at the contempt and derision in Jack’s voice.

He wasn’t.

***

_Fifteen years ago_

He dashed around the corner, hand clamping his cap to his head, gasping for breath. He looked around frantically, desperately trying to find a place to hide. The stairs! He could hide under there. He’d done it before, and they never found him. He only got caught when he came out to try to sneak some food off a service trolley. He ducked into the shadowy space. And promptly ran into someone who was crouching in the corner.

“Oi!” He barked in surprise.

“Sss!” The other person—another kid, from the sound of his voice—hissed. “Keep your voice down or you’ll get us both caught, you idiot.”

He dropped his voice. “Who the hell are you? And what are you doing in my hiding spot?”

“Your hiding spot? This is my hiding spot. Has been for years. And who are you?” A hand shoved his shoulder.

“Hey!” He shoved back. “I asked you first.”

“Fine, if you’re going to be that way. I’m called Jack. Now who are you?”

“David,” he whispered harshly in the dark.

“So who are you hiding from, David?”

“Those guys.” A cluster of spades stormed past them, oblivious. “I nicked a packet of sweets from one of the diamond girls, and they’ve been chasing me all over the place. You?”

“Mum. Well, her attendants, really. She can’t be bothered to go looking for me herself.”

“Wait. Attendants?” David turned around, trying to see his hidey hole companion in the dark. “Is… Your mum the queen? Are you that Jack?”

“Might be.” Jack giggled a little.

“Oi, mate. Pleased to meet you. Thought you were a mythological creature, actually. None of us kids has ever seen you. Well, except Cally, and everyone knows she’s a big liar.”

“Oh, I’m real. But I’m not surprised you’ve never seen me. Mum and dad keep me locked up in the penthouse most of the time. Keep telling me I’m not safe anywhere else. Me, I think they’re just being tossers.” He moved closer to David. “I get out sometimes, though. At night, mostly. It’s quiet around here when they’ve got all the oysters all bunked up for the night. I kind of like it.”

“So why are you out now?”

“Bored, I guess. Ten was trying to teach me my maths lessons for the day, but I just couldn’t stand it anymore. I dashed away when he went out for a pee.”

“Brilliant!” David laughed quietly.

“So what about you? Your parents work here, then? What do they do?”

“Entertainment. They’ve a little act they do. I’m in it sometimes. Nothing big. Just little jokes and stuff. Juggling. Card tricks. Stuff to make the oysters laugh.” David edged toward the light, looking around a little. ”We’ve only been here a year, actually. Entertainment management picked us up out of the city a while back.”

“City boy, then? That’s interesting. I’ve never been.” Jack followed him, trying to peek over his shoulder.

“You don’t want to, trust me. Nasty place, that, unless you’re working with the Rabbit or in the tea trade.” David made a sound of disgust. “Oi! Back! Pack of clubs heading this way!” He shoved Jack back into the dark.

The clubs paused briefly in front of the stairs, and both Jack and David went silent, barely daring to breathe. In a moment, though, they left, heading down a different hall.

“They gone?” Jack asked.

“Looks it. All I see is a couple of the diamond girls having a chat. They won’t bother us.” David extended a hand to Jack. “Ready to make a dash?”

“Yeah.” Jack took David’s hand. “Wait. Where are we going?”

“I was going to go try to sneak into the lab. Wanna come?”

Jack paused, then shook his head. “I’d rather not. That place is creepy.”

“Eh, as you like. Me, I’m off.”

“Wait!” Jack pulled him back. “We should do something sometime, though, yeah?”

David grinned. “Yeah, sure. I can get out at night. Maybe I’ll find you sometime?”

“Yeah.” Jack smiled. “Yeah, I’d like that.”

“Right, then. See ya!” And he was off like a shot.

***

_Thirteen years ago_

“It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?” David heard Jack behind him before he saw him. He turned.

“It is. Pity all these lights get in the way of seeing more stars. Still, the lake’s lovely tonight, with the moon and all.” He looked over at Jack, who had come up next to him to join him in leaning against the balcony rail, looking out at the quiet night. “Mum down for the night, is she?”

Jack nodded. “Silly woman had herself a whole half bottle of Relaxation. She’s probably gone ‘til midday. Dad’s pleased, actually. It’s giving him a chance to finish that trashy novel he’s been hiding from her.”

David laughed. “You know, it’s a pity your da is so afraid of her. I think I’d quite like having him in charge. He’d probably keep us all in Bliss and chocolates all day.”

“Right! Yeah, he would.” Jack smiled. “Though if he ever tried, she’d probably have him knifed in his sleep or something.”

“Undoubtedly.” David sighed.

“So, I’m surprised you’re alone up here,” Jack said. “With the full moon, I’d figured you’d have brought along Cally, or maybe Sophie. Quite romantic up here for… You know.” He grinned. “I almost didn’t come. Figured you might be busy.

“Eh,” David shrugged. “Sophie wasn’t feeling well tonight, and Cally’s gone and taken up with that new electrician’s apprentice. No big thing, really. Truth told, we’re just friends, believe it or not.”

“Even after you snogged her in the stairwell last week?” Jack raised an eyebrow.

“That were nothing. I was just winding her up. Thought she was going to give me a slap, to be honest.” He giggled a little.

“Ah, I see.” Jack fiddled with a loose bolt on the railing. “Their loss then, I suppose.”

“And your gain!” David grinned cheekily. “You get me all to yourself tonight!”

Jack laughed. “I’m honored. Truly.” He dipped his head in a mock-formal bow.

They went quiet for a moment, as they gazed out at the lake, the calm serenity of the scene doing more than the bottled versions to soothe the constant stress of their lives.

“Honestly, Jack.” David’s voice was low and quiet. “I’m glad it’s you with me.” He moved a hand down the railing, closer to Jack’s, but not touching.

Jack looked at him, seeking his eyes. “Me, too.” He covered David’s hand with his own.

***

_Eleven years ago_

One by one, the spades toppled over like dominoes.

“And that’s for Cally, you bastard!” David cried, thumping the last one hard enough to make him collapse to the ground in a heap. He turned back to Jack, who was wiping a hand across his bloody mouth, laughing with the thrill and relief of the chaotic battle they’d just won.

“JACK HEART!” A booming voice echoed down the hall. “I demand to know what you’re doing!” The queen stalked up to them, trailing supplicants.

“Mother, I can explain.” Jack held up his hands.

“It better be good.” She caught sight of David. “And who is this… Urchin with you?”

“This is David, mother. He’s my… He’s my friend.”

David doffed his hat and bowed. “Your highness.” She narrowed her eyes in disgust.

“Mother, I’m afraid we were fighting for honor,” Jack started. “Seems a couple of the spades had decided to try to have their way with a young ladyfriend of ours last night. We just heard about it this morning, and tracked them down to avenge her. They had… Ehm… Friends with them, unfortunately.”

The queen surveyed the wreckage: At least half a dozen spades, most moaning, some still unconscious, lay splayed around the courtyard. “You did all this? Just you two?” She looked back and forth between them.

Jack looked over at David. “The credit is mostly his, actually. I just sort of… Cleaned up.”

“Really?” Her voice dropped into quiet awe. She paced around David, looking him up and down. “A fighter, are you then?”

David grinned. “Well, lover, mostly. But yes, when I must.”

“Cheeky.” She smiled at him. He suddenly felt slightly like he was in a display case at a shop. “You know, we could use someone like you. I know someone who could train you up—perfect your… Natural gifts.”

“With respect, your highness, my career is already spoken for here.” David tried not to make eye contact with her, lest he incur her wrath.

“In what way?”

“I work with my parents. In the casino. You may have caught our act—The Amazing Duckworths?”

“Oh, bother that.” She snorted derisively. “With talents like yours, you ought not to be wasting them on cheap tricks and jokes.”

Her words stung. Humble though his family’s origins may be, they took pride in their work, and could hardly be called cheap. He tried to hide his indignation. “All the same, ma’am, I’m really not suited to be… A suit.”

“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “You wouldn’t be a suit. I have something much better in mind for you.” She took his arm. “Come with me. I have some… Technicians… I’d like you to meet.” It was not a request.

David glanced over at Jack, his eyes begging for rescue. Jack looked on impotently, powerless in the face of his mother’s will. Reluctantly, David followed her down the hall.

***

The bare room was cold, the thin mattress and pillow giving him little comfort. His right arm ached, still swollen and bruised from his surgery. He tried not to think about it too much, but even under a healthy dose of Serenity, he could still feel the gears and plates under his skin. They bothered him, itching in a way he couldn’t ever scratch.

The door burst open. Jack came rushing into the room, beelining for David’s bed. “David! Are you alright? I’ve been worried sick about you!” He perched on the side of the bed, grasping David’s unbandaged hand in a warm greeting. “They wouldn’t tell me where you’d gone after they were done with you in the lab. I had to bribe one of the techs to find you.”

“I’m fine, Jack. At least I think so.” He winced a little.

Jack looked down at his bandaged hand and forearm. “My god, David. What did they do to you?”

“It’s nothing, really. Just a little enhancement, they said.” He tried to sound nonchalant. “When I’ve healed up, I’m supposed to go train up with this new assassin freak she hired. March something or whatever. I guess I’m supposed to be some fearsome warrior suit or something, now.” He growled in a falsely feral way.

“Oh, David.” Jack’s face fell. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry. I wish there was something I could’ve done.” He gently petted the mangled hand. “Does it hurt much?”

“Eh, only a little,” David lied. “The worst part is that it’s getting in the way of me wanking habit. Never works quite proper with the wrong hand, y’know?”

Jack laughed hollowly. He knew David was lying, but played along with his attempt to joke. “That’s just not right! What do they expect you to do—go without? That’s not sporting of them, is it?”

“Nope,” David shook his head. “Not at all.”

Both of them grew quiet, reading dozens of unspoken words in each other’s faces. Jack broke the silence with a whisper. “I could… Help you out with that, if you’d like.”

David breathed a sigh. Yes, he most definitely would like. Ever since getting caught, they’d had no time alone for their usual furtive trysts. “We’re not alone though, are we? I thought they’d posted someone at the door.”

“Oh, Three? I told him Melanie wanted to see him. He’s probably down in the casino by now, waiting for her to get off shift so he can try to get up her skirt.”

“Ah, you always think ahead, don’t you, m’love?”

“I try.” Jack smiled and leaned forward, taking David’s face in his hands and kissing him soundly.  
Ten years ago

“David, please!” Cally’s makeup was smudged, her eyes wet. She huddled close to the bloodstained floor, trying to inch away from him as best she could with shackled ankles and wrists.

He stood over her, shaking but still trying to keep his composure. His mind reeled. How did it come to this? How had he gone from defending her honor to being asked to…

“P—please, David. Don’t kill me. Let me go. I’ll leave. I’ll never come back. The queen can send me away forever. I just… I don’t want to die!”

“Aw, how sad.” The sarcastic voice behind him made his blood boil.

He turned, dark eyes flashing. “Stuff it, March. I want no part of this. I was brought on to defend the casino, not take out diamond girls for pinching a single bottle of Hope.”

“Her highness thought you might be soft on this one. That’s why she sent me here: To make sure you do it.”

He stalked up to March, face inches from the scarred visage of the cold assassin. “Piss on the queen. This is not what I do.”

“Eh. Suit yourself. But you know she won’t be happy.” March toyed with his dagger, stroking the tip down the sleeve of David’s suit jacket.

“Then let her get drunk on a whole case of it and leave me the hell out of it.”

“There will be consequences, you know.” March’s voice was chillingly even.

David set his jaw. “I know. I’ll take whatever she gives me. But I refuse to kill this girl.”

“Have it your way.” Before David even knew what was happening, March flicked his wrist, sending his dagger flying, its tip coming to lodge deep in Cally’s throat. She didn’t have time to scream.

David looked back at her ruined form. Sudden rage and anguish boiled up inside him. He cocked his hand back. Weaponless, all March could do was dodge, and he didn’t do that very well. He crumpled to the floor, face broken, unconscious. Dead, for all David cared.

He stalked out.

***

“David!” Jack rushed into his cell. “What happened? What have you done? Why is March in the infirmary?”

David looked away, numb. “He pissed me off, that’s all.” He refused to say more. The image of Cally’s dead, terrified face stayed vivid enough in his mind. Speaking about it was too much.

“You didn’t. Oh, David. Oh… No wonder.” Jack paced, running a hand over his closely cut hair.

David looked up. “No wonder what?”

Jack blanched. “She’s going to punish you.”

“I know.” David shrugged. “I can take it. Whatever she wants to do to me, I can take it.”

Jack shook his head. “No. You don’t understand. It’s not you.”

David frowned, heart quickening in fear. “Not me… What? Jack, what do you mean?” He stalked up to him.

“David. I… Oh, god.”

“What, Jack! Tell me!” He grabbed his lapels.

“David. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” Jack trembled. “Five asked… He asked me where he could find your parents.”

The blood drained from his face. She couldn’t be… She couldn’t be so cruel. But she could. He knew it. He knew after serving as one of her special enforcement team for the past year. He knew very well what she was capable of. He just didn’t think it would be aimed at him. Not her prize fighter. Not her son’s… Best friend. He exploded.

“Jack, get me out of here! I have to go! I have to save them!” He pleaded, his usual brash bravado suddenly gone in the face of such horror.

“I can’t! David, I’m sorry! I can’t.” Jack’s face was flushed, his eyes brimming with sudden humiliated tears. “If I let you go, she’ll execute you, too, favorite soldier or no.”

“I don’t care!” He screamed. “Let me go, Jack!” He pushed past him, stalking to the thick door of the cell, wondering how many punches it would take to break it off its hinges.

“David, stop! Please!” Jack came up behind him, grabbing his shoulders.

David spun around, face red with fury. "You're not stopping me, Jack."

“David. You’re my only friend. You can’t go. I won’t let you.” Jack got between him and the door, pushing at him, trying to shove him back. “I can’t lose you. I love you too much.”

David looked at him evenly. “If you really love me, then you know why I have to do this.” He pulled the punch, but it was still enough to drop Jack like a rock. He went to work on the door.

***

The jump from the balcony had nearly broken his leg. As it was, his ankle complained as he ran, flat-out, down the shoreline. He ignored it. He ignored everything but the mental echo of his parents’ screams, suddenly silenced just as he had arrived at the end of the corridor to the execution chamber. He ignored the trail of dead and broken spades in his wake. Ignored the confused shouts of the diamond girls he’d bowled through on his way to the back passages that led up to the observation deck. Ignored the memory of Jack pleading with him…

The city loomed large and dark on the horizon, lit from behind by a beautiful sunset. He ignored that, too.

***

_Seven years ago_

It could’ve been worse. At least this one bathed regularly, he thought to himself. His jaw ached and the back of his throat felt sticky. His customer wouldn’t let go of his ears, despite repeated attempts to bat his hands away and a bitterly barked protest that yes, he knew very well what he was doing. And he did. Well enough that it never took long. Like all the rest, his latest one began to groan only a few minutes in. This one, he could taste, had a chronic Excitement habit. Unsurprising.

As the man was stuffing himself back into his trousers, David turned his head and spat. He only swallowed if they promised they’d pay extra, and this guy didn’t look like he could afford more than the basic bottle of Cheer.

“You’re good,” The man said, patting his cheek condescendingly. “Wish I could teach my wife how to do that.”

“Yeah. That’d be nice, eh?” He put on his best bullshitting smile and stood up. “The bottle?”

“Oh! Yeah. Here.” The man reached into his satchel and produced payment. After another pat on the cheek, he headed back down the alley.

He knew he ought to save the sealed bottle to use for buying food, and maybe save up for a new pair of boots, but in the mood he was in, he needed the boost. He cracked the cap and sank down the wall to sip slowly.

Before he could get more than just enough to wash the taste from his mouth, he heard another set of footsteps approaching. He stood back up, quickly stuffing the recapped bottle in his case. Could be a customer, could be Rabbit stooges. He needed to be ready for any possibility. He flexed his right hand, setting the gears ready for a potential punch.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t do that,” A shadowy figure stepped closer.

His heartbeat quickened. That voice. He knew that voice.

“I’m still stinging from the last one, you know.” The figure stepped into the guttering streetlight.

“Jack?” David could only manage a ragged whisper. His fist unwound, and his hand dropped limply to his side.

“You’re a hard man to find, David. You’ve managed to hide yourself pretty well all these years.” Jack reached for him.

David pulled back, unsure. “Yes, well. You of all people should know I’m good at hiding.”

“I do.” Jack’s face fell as his proffered hand was ignored. He tried to put on a friendly smile.

David fought with the mixture of loathing and longing his tiny sip of Cheer couldn’t combat. “What are you doing here, then? Why did you come to find me?”

“David.” Jack sighed quietly. “I’ve been looking for you this whole time. I’ve been trying to get out whenever I can. I’ve been sending people out to every corner of the city trying to figure out where you were.” He approached David carefully.

“Yeah? What for?” David was still unimpressed.

“Do I need to say it?” Jack sounded hurt.

David looked at the dirty ground. “No.”

Jack leaned against the wall beside him, keeping safe distance, but still close enough for David to feel his body heat. “Why are you living like this?”

“What do you mean?” David looked up. “This is great. I’m having the time of my life out here. It’s nice and free. I can roam wherever. Do whatever. Never even need a hit of Bliss. Just happy me, doing my own thing.”

“You’ve never been able to lie to me,” Jack said quietly.

“That's true.” David’s eyes narrowed. “You really were the liar of the pair of us.”

Jack made a noise as if he’d been slapped. David pushed back the pang of regret for his words.

“Well, then.” Jack cleared his throat. “I guess that answers that question.”

David said nothing.

“But I’m not done with you just yet.” Jack fished around in the pocket of his leather coat. He handed David a fat envelope.

“What’s this?”

Jack shrugged. “Your new life, if you want it.”

“New life?” David opened the envelope, pulling out a small stack of paperwork.

Jack nodded at the papers. “The big document is a report, signed by me, saying that I verified you’d been killed by the Rabbits. I already filed a copy back at the casino. There’s also a license to open a tea shop, and a stock certificate entitling you to three hundred mixed cases to start it with.”

David stared at the papers. “And this last one?”

“Your new identity. I took the liberty of giving you a new name. I hope you don’t hate it.”

David read the certificate.

“I remembered all the hats you used to wear when we were running around together. Always thought you looked smashing in them, really.” He smiled wistfully.

David looked up at him with new eyes. “But… Why? Why did you do this?”

“I don’t know, really. Regret, maybe. Guilt.” Jack fidgeted with a button on his coat. “Love.”

“Jack, I can’t…” David murmured.

“I know. I don’t expect you to…” He sighed heavily. “You don’t owe me anything. Just… Please do me this one little favor and take this. If I can’t give you the life I wanted to give you before, at least let me give you this one.”

***

_Five years ago_

Dawn, such as it was, broke weakly, illuminating his flat with a slightly less-dull gray light. He and Jack sat at the kitchen table, wordlessly nursing their cups of tea in the remaining moments they had before he had to go downstairs and open the shop for the day.

David wondered if he should say he was sorry. But he didn’t feel sorry. The only regret he felt was in letting Jack stay and fuck him, when he should have kicked him out after he refused to join the resistance, calling it a pointless waste of time.

“I should be going, I guess.” Jack’s voice was flat.

“Of course. As I always say, folks should do what they’re good at.” His tea tasted nearly as bitter as his words.

“David, I—“

“Shut it, Jack.”

Jack set his teacup down with a clatter, spilling some over the rim. “David, damn you. Stop that.”

David set his jaw.

“We’ve been over this. You’re being absolutely daft. You of all people should know there’s no fighting her. I don’t see why you’re bothering.”

“Yeah? Well maybe that’s because you don’t see much of anything when dear old mum puts the blinkers on.” David stood up, gathering his cup and setting it on the sideboard. “You’re a coward, Jack. You always have been. You’re probably one of the few people in Wonderland who could remotely have a chance on their own to fight back against her, and you never, ever do.”

“That’s not true!” Jack protested.

“Is it not?” David folded his arms across his chest. “What about all those promises you made? You said you wanted to fight for the oysters. You said you wanted to fight for Wonderland.”

“I know. And I meant it. I will.”

“So? Back it up, then. Stop faffing off. Get out of the casino. Come work with the resistance. Stay in the city.” He caught Jack’s eye. “Stay with me.”

Jack looked away. “David, you know I can’t do that. I’m taking an enormous risk every time I even come here to visit you. If my mother knew where I was going—if she knew who you really were—she’d have me locked up for good.”

David rolled his eyes. “Bollocks. If she were really going to punish you for anything, you’d have lost your head several times over by now with all the things you’ve gotten up to.” He put his hands on Jack’s shoulders. “Be honest: You’re not really afraid of what she’ll do to you. You’re just afraid you'll stop getting the tiny scraps of attention she feels like giving you, because despite what she is, you still love her and still want Mummy to love you back. And that’s all that matters to you. Not the oysters, not the resistance, and definitely not me.”

Jack’s cheeks flushed.

“Really, Jack. With as bloody spineless as you are with her, I swear you’re turning into your dad.” The sudden explosion of pain across David’s cheek wasn’t unexpected. Still, he stepped back, rubbing his face where the imprint of Jack’s ring had embossed his skin.

Jack stood up, shoving the chair back hard enough that it tipped over, clattering to the floor. He stalked over to the door, grabbing his jacket. “That’s enough, David. I’m going.”

“Yeah, you do that.” David told him. “And you know? Don’t bother coming back this time.”

***

_Now_

He dropped the branch to the ground, the weapon as impotent as he felt. He watched her give him the ring. Watched his hope of victory, of freedom, of longed-for love quickly ebbing away through Jack’s fingers.

He smiled weakly at her and lied. “I’ll be fine.”

\--End--


End file.
